This is not a dress. This is a sacred robe of the ancient psychedelic monks

And the laugh of the week goes to the U.K. governments suggestion that they may soon be implementing smoking licences (article). I just cannot believe how ridiculous some government measures seem to be lately. It would not worry me but since the media thrives on panic and terror alot of the public seem to actually fall victim to the scare tactics and may start believing they are not capable of buying (or not buying) a packet of cigarettes without first having jumped through hoops for the government that is apparently elected serve them.


A license to smoke? It is just so laughable. What makes it even more ridiculous is the fact the consultant who thinks it might be a good idea has said the form will be complex and tricky to further deter would be smokers. As if any government needs to actively try to make a form complex. Once I fill in the form, have my photo taken, and send it in with a £10 processing charge I am then issued a license that is valid for one year... so the next year it all starts again.

What has intrigued me is the number of non-smokers who have used article comment sections to say how great an idea it is because people smoke outside buildings/smoke near their kids/stink.. etc. I am not sure why they think this will change if someone has to register to smoke. Their problem is not with smokers as a whole it is with people who are rude. I would never smoke near a child, or smoke near people eating etc. I had to step over at least 4 different puddles of vomit on my way to work this morning but I am not suggesting a license be required to buy kebabs after dark. Also, if smoking stops killing all these thousands of people then the government will be seeking to cover the loss of money from cigarette taxes with some other levy and pension services are going to be further strained.

It must also be obvious that if the government were able to dupe the public into accepting smoking licenses then their decent further into the bully/nanny state would surely continue. With a little effort we could soon spend our lives applying for the privilege to live with the drinking licenses, blogging licenses, sex licenses, voting licenses, etc.

Charlie Brooker has a hilarious take on the future here.

I have always enjoyed working, I like the constancy and the social interaction of it all and I also like facing challenges and proving myself. My first proper job was working in a backpackers hostel which I stayed at for around 3.5 years. I had a fantastic time there and my role slowly developed over time, with my responsibilities and pay increasing with it. I packed in that job to come travel in the U.K. and Europe and kind of expected to find work I would enjoy over here as well.

Since being over here though I have had markedly different experiences at different places. I have worked in a bar which was great but the money for bartending in England is horrendous. I have worked in an admin role for a croissant manufacturer, this job seemed strange when I was first offered it but turned out to be the best job I have had in the U.K. The people were cool to work with, the work required thinking (electronically laying out the pallets to fit on lorries and creating VB apps for them to analyse their performance) and it was deadline driven which I enjoy. I was even working for inbound insurance calls a little while and I actually really enjoyed it. The people I was working with were young and fun, all sorts of people called for all sorts of random stuff and it required confidence and logical thinking.

By far though, the worst jobs I have had in the U.K. have both been linked to the Civil Service. The first was for the N.H.S and was just admin/office bitch role. Fair enough, they did not have a challenging role for me, that is fine, but the vibe in the office was horrendous. No one seems to enjoy being at work, people operate within mini clique's in the office. I was only given minimal work that did not fill half the day but was made to feel like I was creating work and stress for someone else by asking if there was anything else to do. In the end I used to sit in front of a computer (which was switched off - I did not have a login) and everyone in the office would pretend I was not there.

The second worst job, which is still my current job, is working for English local government. I am on a switchboard but it is not a very busy switchboard. On an average day I receive around 30 phone calls (nothing for a switchboard really) and each lasts around 5seconds. I work an 8hour day... you do the math. At least at this job I have open internet privileges. Over time I have slowly perverted what is the norm and now wear jeans everyday, hardly shave, constantly have one of my earphone buds in and play music and youtube off this computer all day long. This would have disgusted me in the past but you have to make your workplace bearable and there is no chance of this job getting anymore stimulating or challenging. To be honest this job should not exist, with the internet the need for generic switchboards is reducing. If the other 6 or so staff in this office had all of the calls I receive routed to a central phone they could each answer the calls when they are free. They already answer me when I don't know the answer to someones query. The problem is that everyone here is so afraid of change. They have all worked in the same jobs for 15yrs+ and they cannot bear to see anything change.

I was witness today to the saddest thing I have seen since working here. Someone who has been working within local government for 18years has been forced out due to cutbacks throughout the civil service, this is sad by itself but I understand these things will happen, what is sad is the attitude towards this guy who was leaving. They brought in a temp to do his job a week ago (it is not like his job does not exist anymore, all that matters is that there is one less permanant staff member listed), he has taught the temp, they wrote a card, did a whip around for cash, sent out a message for people to come along to a presentation. About 5ppl were here when he got given the card, someone explained how they thought they would give him the cash instead of purchasing a present so he could spend it how he wants and then asked if there is anything he wanted to say. He said "Not really..." awkward silence ensued. Then he walked out. Near on 20years of this guys life. Fuck that.

p.s. Kate McCann did it.